Sunday, March 30, 2008

Harley Momma

Well, I know a lot of you have heard the rumors, and I'm here to confirm that they are true. About 8 months ago I was on my way home from work on a Friday evening and Steph called me on my cell phone. She asked me if I would be willing to pick something up on the way home from work. Because I was running late getting home, as usual, and wanting to keep her happy, I told her that I would be happy to pick up anything that she needed. Her reply was, "Great. I need you to grab me a motorcycle on the way home." I was momentarily stunned and nearly lost control of the car. Wondering if I had heard her correctly, I replied, "Did you say a motorcycle?" To which she responded, "Yes, a motorcycle. I need something that I can go and do that will give me a break from the children." Surely she must have been joking. Most moms join a crafting club or start bunco. Little pink Stephanee on a motorcycle? It could never truly be. Maybe the kids really were driving her insane.




The next day she enrolled in the SLCC motorcycle safety course. "This must just be a crazy phase," I said to myself. "Surely it will last only a couple of weeks." The children and I even went to SLCC on one her class days to validate her story. We thought that she might simply be sneaking away to go and do something else every Saturday because surely Steph would not be riding motorcycles. Upon entering the SLCC parking lot, we discovered that Steph truly was riding motorcycles. "Well," I thought to myself, "this I'm sure this will end shortly. Steph really isn't the motorcycle type. I have been begging her to allow me to get a motorcycle for ages; to which she has always retorted, "over my dead body."" To my surprise, Steph graduated from motorcycle safety class with honors and now had the itch. Within two weeks she had bought a used 2005 Honda Rebel, which Mike Dawes was gracious enough to drive up from Utah County for her because she was not comfortable driving on the freeway. She would ride it every once in a while, but the chill in the late autumn air was starting to put a damper on her riding. So, at the advice of Ethan's friend's father, a motorcycle enthusiast, she decided to purchase a full set of leathers including jacket, boots, gloves and chaps. This allowed her to continue to ride in the cold. "Now she is really starting to lose it," I thought. But, she does look hot in those leathers I must add.



Shortly after the leather purchase, the craziest, snowiest winter in recent history hit and Jamal (Steph's black motorcycle) was garaged for the winter.



It took Steph 4 months to break the news to her parents, which she finally decided to do at Audree's birthday party. Her brother had seen the motorcycle in the garage, but thought we were storing it for a neighbor. (It couldn't be mine or Steph's). Her mother and father couldn't believe it. I thought we might have to call an ambulance to take her mother to the hospital. I guess Steph got the reaction she was looking for.



Over the winter, I began to question my manhood. Many neighbors taunted me and asked what it is like having to ride on the back of my wife's motorcycle. I even started doing dishes once in a while.



Then, I thought to myself, "she seems to be having a lot of fun with it." So, I decided it was time for me to take the SLCC class and get me a bike of my own. On the first day of class, the teacher asked everyone to introduce themselves and tell her why they had decided to take this class. Upon introducing myself I indicated that I was there because I was tired of riding on the back of my wife's motorcycle. The entire class erupted with laughter. The teacher, a woman who has been riding motorcycles for 40 years, asked me what it was like riding behind my wife on a motorcycle. In all of her years of riding, her husband has only sat back there once.



The most stressful thing for me in the class was wondering what it would be like to face my wife if I didn't pass the riding test at the end. Fortunately my manhood was saved and I was given a pass to ride. Many of my neighbors, some whom own motorcycles and others who don't, now consider me to be one of the luckiest men alive. First of all I have a wife that will let me ride a motorcycle. And, equally as important, I have a wife who enjoys riding them as well. Last Saturday, I purchased my own Yamaha V-Star 650, which actually looks like a bigger version of Steph's bike. We had our first biker date last Saturday. Here is a picture of our bikes in the Chili's parking lot. We are really looking forward to the warm weather so that we can get out and ride some more. We even sat up at the bar at the restaurant. After all, there was a 25 minute wait, the bar was open, and that is where bikers should be sitting anyway.



Mom is wondering when this midlife crisis will end.


1 comment:

Rhett said...

This is a side of Steph I thought I'd never see. Can't wait to see it in person. I will not believe it until I do.